Friday, January 13, 2017

The U.S. Treasury Has Solved Racism!

Well, time to take down the blog, disband the alt-right and for Al Sharpton to get a real job like he has always wanted (just kidding that will never happen)! The U.S. Mint is going to start minting one ounce gold coins with "women of color" imprinted on them, replacing racist White gal Lady Liberty. In case you were unclear, calling black women "women of color" is OK but calling them "colored women" is not. The more you know....

You can feel the black on black crime rate in Chicago and Baltimore going down already, can't you?

According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, nearly a quarter of blacks in America are in poverty. So what better way to help "combat racism" than to put "women of color" on one ounce gold coins? As of yesterday an ounce of gold was selling for around $1200. I am sure that tons of "women of color" will line up to fork over $1200 for a coin instead of, oh I don't know, maybe paying rent or buying food or buying a new iPhone get the picture. So who exactly is going to buy these coins?

Rich White coastal liberals of course! Just think, you can buy gold coins as an investment and then during a conversation about how awful Trump and those dirty people in the Midwest are over white wine at a fabulous party with other rich White coastal liberals, you can drop a comment about buying the new "women of color" gold coin all casual like. You can get all sorts of leftist street cred for checking your "white privilege" and the quiet admiration from those same liberal friends for investing because nothing is really more important to rich liberals than to stay rich, especially to be richer than those dirty people in the Midwest who voted for Trump and minorities that you keep as far away from you and your family as possible.

I feel really good about this move, I always knew that the Federal government could solve racism through meaningless gestures.

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